Understanding Your Wife

She asked him, "Do you still love me?" It was a question that his wife asked frequently. He said to her, "I've noticed that you ask that question often in the last few weeks. Have I done something wrong?" She answered, "Oh no. Not at all. It's just that I don't look like I did when we first married. I've gained some weight and my appearance has changed. I just need to know that you still love me." He assured her that he loved her more than ever, and that he would always love her. Over the next few weeks, he sent her flowers and cards, as well as taking her on surprise dates. He realized how much she needed to be reassured of his love. It made a difference in their relationship.

Married couples are always changing in appearance and the relationship. Wives often need the reassurance of their husband's love. It's a gender difference that men often don't understand.
Men and women think differently. A man makes a statement and doesn't feel a need to restate it. Why should he, unless he changes his mind? On the contrary, women often need to hear it again to be assured. Why shouldn't he reassure her, unless he has changed his mind?

Another gender difference is appearance. Women are far more conscious of their appearance than men. They need to know how he likes her new dress or shoes, as well as her hairstyle. He may not know how much he weighs, but she is weight conscious. She may ask, "Do I look like I've gained weight?" Husbands beware, choose your words carefully. She wants to be attractive for you.
A husband's comments about his wife's appearance are very important. She needs his words of affirmation for self-esteem. She wants him to notice her, and feel like he is still attracted to her.

Wives prefer a compliment without asking for an opinion. If she has to ask, it's not nearly as meaningful. She doesn't want to be humored. She wants to be noticed and loved by her husband.