Happiness in Marriage

She could remember the happy days in her relationship with her husband. When they were dating, it seems like they were always happy. When the engagement to marry was announced, they were thrilled with excitement and every day was one of happiness. She remembers the honeymoon and the first few months of marriage. It was a happy time for both of them.

She thought to herself, where has the happiness in marriage gone? It's now six years and two children later. Their focus is on jobs, finances, childcare and maintaining a house and two cars. They don't seem to have time for each other anymore. The schedule is packed with endless responsibilities. She hasn't told him, but she is no longer happy in the marriage, and she's afraid that he isn't either.

Mitch Temple authored the Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage. He wrote, "Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls away." He goes on to talk about the reason which takes away happiness. "Everyday life wears away the 'feel good side of marriage.' Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: 'For better or for worse' - when it feels good and when it doesn't."

Points to Consider

Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness comes and goes. No spouse can guarantee to make you happy all the time. That is an unrealistic expectation.

Do things together that will bring happy times to your marriage. Remember the things you did in the past which brought both of you happiness. Plan for time alone together to enjoy each others company.

Expect feelings of happiness to ebb and flow. Realize that successful marriages are built on more than non-stop happiness. They are based on vows of commitment to each other. Be there for each other through days of happiness, as well as days which aren't so happy.

Accept responsibility for your own happiness. Remember, no spouse can make you happy all the time. Let your mate know how you have been made happy through the marriage.

Consider your spouse's happiness more than your own. If husband and wife want to please each other, happiness will come often. Happiness is like dancing with your spouse. It takes two.