Sex on the menu every day for a month

It sounds an impossible challenge: to make love every day for a month. But a series of studies have found that as well as bringing you closer together, it could help improve your well being.

Sarah Kavanagh, 31, a project co-ordinator, and her husband Colin, 40, a builder, from Cheshire, decided to try it. So how did they fare?

Sarah says:

On the eve of the 12th anniversary of our first date, I told my husband Colin that I'd got him a very special gift that would remind us both just how much we still mean to each other.

As he tried to guess what it might be I assured him that this was something far more meaningful than a weekend away or a blown-up photograph from our wedding album.

His gift was, in fact, to make love with me every day for the following month.

Colin's immediate reaction, just as I'd hoped, was to look like a man who'd been told he'd won the Lottery.

But almost immediately his face then fell.

"We used to have sex every day as a matter of course," he said grumpily. "Now you're offering it up as a gift and I'm supposed to be grateful?"

This really wasn't what I'd expected, having just offered love on request to the man I married seven years ago and who is always bending my ear that we don't do it enough. Somehow my well-meant offer had suddenly brought us to the brink of a row.

I'd come up with the idea because, in common with so many couples, in recent years lovemaking had been relegated in my agenda.

Unlike the heady days when Colin and I first met, now there is always something else that takes precedence - from work to domestic chores and even the simple pleasure of a full night's sleep.

When we met, I was 19 and Colin ten years older - the sexual attraction was mutual and instant. For the first few months, our passionate love life defined us, but as months turned to years and we got engaged and then married, things inevitably changed.

Over time, familiarity, the stresses of work and day-to-day life and the fact my sex drive just isn't what it used to be have combined to dampen the passion we once took for granted.

These days we make love about once a week. And, in common with many of my friend's husbands, Colin regularly complains that this just isn't enough.

Which is why I'd presumed that this gift would be welcomed rather than the cause of a row.

Later that evening, we talked it through.

"At least when we do it, it's spontaneous," Colin told me. "You putting it into your diary isn't exactly a turn on."

But despite his reservations, we decided to give it a go.

Somehow I felt certain that in the years ahead he would look back on this as the most intimate gift of our marriage.

DAY ONE

There's no time like the present, so, for the first time in at least five years we make love on a work day before I've even put the kettle on.

So much for Colin worrying about this taking the spontaneity out of sex: this feels impulsive and slightly wicked.

I arrive at work with a smug smile on my face (though guiltily note that this also means I'm off the hook at bedtime, having done the day's deed already).

DAY TWO

Home from work later than usual, I walk in to find the table beautifully set with candles and flowers and dinner in the oven.

The last time Colin did this was our wedding anniversary, but this is just an ordinary evening. It's amazing what the promise of frequent sex brings out in a man.

DAY THREE

Home to find the table set and Colin's cooking again - I could get used to this. I feel spoilt, especially when he refuses to let me wash up and sends me upstairs for a soak in the bath. This is beginning to feel as much a gift for me as for Colin.

DAY FOUR

I've stayed late at work and missed the last bus home, so I've had to fork out for a taxi when I'm dangerously close to payday. I'm in a foul mood when I walk into the house and am greeted by the same scene as the last two days.

"God, this is starting to feel like Groundhog Day," I snap unkindly. We eat in silence, and I start to feel guilty when I think how much effort Colin is making. "Leave the dishes," I tell him. "It's time for your present."

DAY FIVE

Last night could so easily have ended with us going to sleep not speaking after I arrived home so tired and grumpy.

Instead we slept wrapped up in each other's arms, just like the old days. It's Saturday, so we're less restricted on when we can make love. We decide to get our chores done: the house needs cleaning and Colin needs to tackle the garden.

We're shattered and fall asleep on the sofa. Colin's snoring wakes me up just before midnight. "Quick," I tell him, as I shake him awake and push the cats out of the room. "Otherwise it won't count."

DAY SIX

Sundays in our house are normally lazy affairs, but today we've got a christening to go to and we're running late.

We vow to make love as soon as we get home, but while Colin doesn't drink, I'm partial to champagne, and it's been flowing all afternoon.

Back home, all I want to do is go to bed and sleep, but, of course, I can't.

DAY SEVEN

I'm beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea.

Last night, love-making felt like a chore for the first time, and because neither of us was particularly in the mood we just went through the motions.

I'm not looking forward to bedtime and Colin admits he's not interested either. Sure enough, we fall asleep without any marital relations taking place. Looks like this could be over before it got started.

DAY EIGHT

I wake up cross with both of us that we've given up so easily, and tell Colin we've got to make up for last night by making love twice today.

We tackle the project with renewed vigour before work and then again straight after dinner.

"At least now we can go to bed and go straight to sleep," says Colin. I feign indignation, but he's only said exactly what I was thinking.

DAY NINE

Colin wakes up hoping for a repeat performance of yesterday, but I'm not playing. I have to be in work early. "Tonight, I promise," I say as we kiss goodbye.

What's normally a brief kiss turns into a passionate one - not bad considering we've been together more than a decade. I think about Colin regularly through the day.

DAY TEN

My sister calls to remind me that I've promised to baby-sit my 11 and 14-year-old nieces this weekend. I tell her that I'm worried this might impact on our lovemaking.

"Welcome to my world," she scoffs, before telling me I can't back out on my sisterly duties. I tell Colin that we have to practise being very quiet.

DAY 11

The girls arrive armed with DVDs and bags of sweets, and announce they want to stay up really late, just like they did last time they stayed over. By 11pm, I'm pleading with them to go to sleep.

"Forget it," I snap at Colin when I finally get under the duvet. There's no way I can do that with the girls awake on the other side of the wall.

DAY 12

Little wonder couples with children complain they don't have enough sex: finding an opportunity with these two in the house is all but impossible.

In the end, I send them out with a long shopping list, set the timer on my phone to go off in ten minutes and drag Colin upstairs. "Look on it as a challenge," I tell him.

DAY 13

The girls go home and we've got the house to ourselves. Midmorning I say breezily: "I'll just vacuum and then we can go to bed."

Bad move. I accidentally suck up one of the girl's hair bobbles and it gets stuck in the machine.

It takes Colin an hour to get it going again, by which time love is the last thing on either of our minds. But we do it anyway and then go out for lunch, something we realise we just don't do often enough.

DAY 14

I go out for a drink after work with a girlfriend and tell her about our project. "You must be mad," she says, before warning me that our friendship will be ruined if Colin or I tell her husband what we're up to. "Don't you dare go giving him any daft ideas."

DAY 15

I'm going to be working late tonight, so I set the alarm for 6am so we can get our duties out of the way before the day gets started. Colin grunts when I try to nudge him awake. "I need my sleep," he groans.

Maybe he'll be a bit more understanding when he's in the mood for love and I say that I'm too tired.

DAY 16

Friends come round for a midweek dinner and comment on how attentive we seem to each other. I keep quiet about why, having taken note of my friend's reaction earlier in the week, but throw Colin a wink.

We're definitely a lot more tactile with each other, and have started flirting again.

DAY 17

I spoke too soon - we've had a huge row over the fact that Colin forgot to put out the bin last night and now we're up to our eyes in rubbish.

He can't see why I'm making such a fuss, which only makes me madder. The last thing I want to do is to make love with Colin. Normally something like this would be the perfect excuse to withhold sex, but that's not an option.

It's difficult to stay cross with someone you've made love to - Colin promises to make a trip to the tip and all is forgiven.

DAY 18

I've got a streaming cold and a headache. Colin is keeping his distance. "What about a cuddle?" I ask as I splutter into a tissue. "No thanks," says Colin. "I'm sleeping in the spare room."

DAY 19

Still poorly, so I stay in bed. Colin spends the day bringing me hot drinks and homemade soup, and does all the housework so I can rest.

He's never been this attentive when I've had a cold before - all this lovemaking has made him a changed man.

DAY 20

The weekend has been a write-off on the sex front, yet Colin and I feel closer and more relaxed than we have in a long time.

It brings it home to me how important regular sex in a marriage is to nurture the bond you share.

DAY 21

Back to work, and I'm almost restored to full health. I send Colin a flirty text hinting at the fun we'll be able to enjoy when we see each other later. I can't believe I'm chatting up my own husband.

DAY 22

I notice that my trousers are a little looser, so I step on the scales and discover I've lost 2lb. All this extra exercise is doing me good.

DAY 23

A friend is in town and stays the night. I'd emailed her at the start of the month and told her what we were doing, which she brings up over dinner, joking that we'd better not keep her awake tonight.

This puts Colin in a bad mood because I've let slip what we're up to, and when she goes to bed he has a go at me for being indiscreet. I try to laugh it off, but he's really cross about it. He refuses to make love. I lie awake fuming - isn't it supposed to be the woman who withholds favours?

DAY 24

Colin wakes feeling guilty and suggests we make up for missing out yesterday. I realise that the argument will only escalate if I refuse. Instead, we make love and the grumpiness vanishes. We make love again that evening, our row long forgotten.

DAY 25

I meet my mum for lunch and she comments on how fresh-faced I appear. "Have you discovered a new foundation?" she asks.

I must say I feel more attractive and better about myself than I have in years. Feeling desired does wonders for a woman's self-esteem.

DAY 26

I'm having to factor in an extra ten minutes into my daily grooming regime so I can shave my legs, and I'm wearing more make-up than usual.

I'm going to continue with this after the month is up - it's nice to feel groomed, whether it's with sex in mind or not.

DAY 27

We're near the end of Colin's gift, so we decide to spend the entire day in bed, just as we did on Sundays when we first became a couple. It's not just about sex - it's about relishing shutting out the rest of the world. We'd like a family, so we need to make the most of days like this.

DAY 28

We've made love 25 times in 28 days, and there's no question that we've grown closer as a result.

I thought I might be relieved to get to the last day, but I'm just determined to make sex far more of a priority than it used to be.

My friend has lent me a DVD I've wanted to watch for ages, so I put it on after dinner. Colin and I cuddle up on the sofa together to watch it - normally he spreads out on one chair while I take over another.

"When did we stop doing this?" I ask him. We go to bed tired and we've got work in the morning.

"Let's just cuddle," says Colin, and as we drift off to sleep it feels like the perfect end to the present that ended up being a gift not just for Colin, but for our marriage, too.

Thanks to OneLove on behalf of Rachel Halliwell