Parenting Preschoolers

Learning to parent preschoolers is a moving picture. That is to say, parents must understand their preschoolers in order to be effective parents. In the three stages of the preschool years, there are changing developmental tasks. It is important for parents to know the task their preschooler is trying to accomplish. Failure to do so causes misunderstanding on the parent's part, resulting in arrested development on the child's part.

Erik Erikson, a world renowned psychiatrist, studied behavior patterns from preschool years through senior years, discovering different developmental tasks at different ages in life. His work is widely recognized in understanding human behavior patterns.

Birth to 18 Months

The main issue in the developmental task is trust. The relationship between the child and the mother is primary. The infant is dependent on another person for all the needs of life. To cry is a call for help from a helpless child. Trust is developed through reassuring experiences that the mother will respond.

18 Months to 3 Years

The main issue at this age is autonomy and independence within the child's environment. The child is attempting to gain self-control and a measure of independence versus doubt and shame. Parents need to understand the task of this stage in the development of a preschooler. This includes what some call "the terrible two's." They are really not so terrible when the parent understands the child's developmental task. The parent's misunderstanding may hinder the child from accomplishing the task. As a result, this may lead to doubt and even shame.

3 to 6 Years

This is the time in a preschooler's life to find purpose in the ability to initiate activities. Parents should not misinterpret the initiative of the child as disobedience. To the contrary, let the parent encourage the child to complete the task of initiating activity to discover purpose. The failure to do so will lead to guilt.

Spiritual Development

Notice the words used in the child's developmental tasks. They include trust, mistrust, independence, shame and doubt, as well as initiative, purpose and guilt. All of these subjects are spiritual issues. Parents have the opportunity to assist in the child's spiritual development in these formative years. Let the parents pray for the child to develop in God's love. Also, the parents should pray for themselves, that God will give them understanding. Parents bring God's love to the child as they help preschoolers complete developmental tasks.

May God help us all parents to raise our kids in a good way which pleases God.
Blessings to all!