Marriage and Money

They had a really good marriage. They enjoyed being together. Their three children were a blessing. Everything went well in the family, but one thing. They got into some emotional conflicts about family finances. In his family of origin, his father controlled the finances. In her family of origin, her mother always took care of the family finances. She liked to use the credit cards often and without restraint. He thought credit cards were to be used sparingly.

Once a month, when the bills came due, the conflict was predictable. Harsh words were spoken and nerves were on edge. The feud was always over family finances.

Remember, disagreements over finances is one of the three leading causes of divorce. Don't let financial conflict ruin a good marriage. Discuss the issue before the bills come due. Take the emotions out of the issue. Listen to each other with an open mind.

Talk about your spouse's family of origin and how financial decisions were made. Husband and wife come to marriage often with different models in family finances. The contrasting models must be understood.

Read books and articles together on family finances. Discuss different suggestions openly and honestly. Be willing to find the middle ground on a new plan.

Identify the emotional issues. Sometimes, it is a control issue. At other times, it may be fear. Those emotions should be discussed transparently. Don't bottle resentment over family finances.

Pray together about your finances. Know that God cares about every area of your life. The Bible has much to say about finances. Ask God to give you wisdom (James 1:5). He will.

Put God first in your finances. Honor him with a tithe, ten percent of your income (Genesis 28:20-22; Malachi 3:10; Matthew 23:23; Luke 6:38; Hebrews 7:1-10). Take God at his word. See how he honors your obedience.

Let God's love guide you together. "It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV). Be quick to ask forgiveness for any unloving words or attitudes. Ask God to fill you with his love for one another.

Credit: Dr.Richard Treder