Your Father Bond ....

The Barna Research Group did a survey among 3,700 teens in evangelical churches. 82% attended church weekly. 86% had made a personal commitment to Christ. 54% seldom or never talked to their father. One in four never had a meaningful conversation with their father.

The bond of a father with his children is dependent on meaningful conversation, both in the teen years and in the years to come. Without meaningful conversation, there simply cannot be a meaningful relationship. Communication is the heart of any bond between persons. Without such conversation, the bond is weakened, if there is any bond at all.

It may well be that many fathers simply do not understand how important meaningful conversation is with their children. Mothers seem to be so much more effective in meaningful conversation, and perhaps this is because of the gender difference. However, meaningful conversation is not just about talking. A very important part is about listening.

Effective communication also includes eye contact and undivided attention. Listening to a child says, "You are important to me." No parent must have all the solutions to a child's problems, but every parent can listen.

A daughter in the transitional years needs a dad who will listen. She is learning to relate to men. How she relates to her dad will be preparation for how she relates to her husband. Dad shows his love to her when he listens to her problems and feelings. He can relax, knowing that he need not have all the answers. If he just listens, most of the time she will feel better, simply because she knows that he cares.

A son in the transitional years needs a dad who will listen. He needs to understand his son's struggles in becoming a man. A son needs to be able to share his dreams for the future as well as his fears. Dad can identify with him by sharing his struggle in becoming a man. His dad can relieve stress and fear by understanding his anxieties. The father is a son's mentor to manhood. All mentoring requires meaningful communication.

The father bond impacts a child's relationship with God. We often get our earliest images of what God is like through our own father. Hopefully, that is a picture of a father who loves and cares, listens and speaks. Many adults who seemingly have problems in finding a meaningful relationship with God are really trying to resolve issues with a father.

God has designed that the father is his representative in the family. Mothers teach their children much good about God through loving words and deeds, but dad is an image of what God must really be like. When dad has meaningful communication with his children, he listens and speaks, showing that he cares. He provides a model for his children to understand more about a loving heavenly Father.