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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Can this Marriage Last?

They had serious issues in their marriage. She had tried hard to make her marriage work, but the future of the relationship looked bleak at best. She wanted them to get professional counseling, but he was resistant to such an idea. She continued to bring up the subject of counseling. He really didn't like the idea, but finally he agreed for both of them to see a counselor.

In the counseling session she poured out her heart and came to tears. He remained quiet, unless the counselor asked him a specific question. The counselor made it clear to them that a successful marriage required both husband and wife considering each others needs. He said, "It takes two to make a marriage, and it takes two to make a marriage last." As the couple left the counselor's office, she said to her husband, "Do you want to make our marriage last?" He didn't look at her, but he said, "Well, sure if you do." Her heart felt the pain of his answer. That's the way it had always been. She had always tried to make it work, but she had tried alone.

To make a marriage survive, and even thrive, requires two people. His passive attitude had contributed nothing to make the relationship intimate. She had shared her feelings with him many times, but there was little response. Successful marriages require transparent, open, heart to heart communication. Conversations must include more than factual information. There is a need to express feelings honestly and openly, even feelings such as anger, depression and disappointment. In essence, it requires communication which is real and honest, without pretending things are okay when they are not.
Successful marriages require more than a legalistic commitment. They require trust in one another. This is more than trusting the spouse to be honest. It's trusting each other with feelings, fears and doubts. It is feeling safe to share your heart with one another, holding nothing back. Passion in the relationship comes only through a willingness to be vulnerable to your mate. Keeping secrets from one another builds psychological walls of emotional separation. Feeling free and safe to make yourself vulnerable provides a lasting, loving, intimate relationship. Vulnerability is required from the husband and the wife. That's a marriage which will last.



  1. mi keki tu hiyo mamy...asante kwa ujumbe.god bless u too


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