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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

How to Ruin Your Marriage

And the tongue is a flame of fire.
It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life

The tongue can be very destructive to the point of ruining your whole life, and that includes your marriage. If you want to destroy a loving relationship with your mate, let your tongue speak unchecked, setting aflame contention, conflict and misunderstanding. If you want to ruin your marriage, there is no faster way to do it than with the words of your tongue. Courtship begins with words such as "I love you." Marriage becomes a reality with words of promise. The same tongue that speaks words of love in courtship to initiate a relationship can also destroy the same relationship.

Ruin your marriage with words of criticism. A constant diet of criticism can eventually ruin any relationship. Your mate needs to know of your support. Be his/her number one supporter. Share your needs and ideas in a positive way.

Ruin your marriage with "You" messages. Understand "YOU" messages. The "YOU" message often indicates a parent-child relationship. For instance, "YOU need to cut the grass." Another one, "YOU need to clean the house." "YOU" messages normally put the other person on the defensive. When we do, the other person often withdraws from meaningful, transparent conversation. The " I " message expresses your thoughts and feelings without putting the other person on the defensive. For example, one may say, "YOU never help me." That message puts a spouse on the defensive and may create an argument. Instead, it could be put this way, "I need your help."

Ruin your marriage with words of uncontrolled anger. It's easy to speak harsh words when we are angry. An uncontrolled tongue can do great damage. Silence would be preferred at that time. Anger does need to be expressed, but in the proper way.

Ruin your marriage with words of hurtful teasing. Words of teasing may be humorous to us, but hurtful to our mate. A joke at the expense of our mate is always inappropriate. Teasing can be a cruel way of expressing anger.


Words are powerful. They may express your love and create intimacy. On the other hand, they may be destructive enough to destroy your marriage. The choice is yours. Kind and loving words strengthen the marriage bond. Words may encourage, compliment, and lovingly support your spouse. Words are like matches. They can light a furnace to warm your home, or they can be used carelessly to destroy the same home. Don't ruin your marriage with careless words.

Credits: Dr. Richard Trader.
Thank u so much Dr. I learn alot from you.

Guys it's your choice to build or to destroy
God bless you all.

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