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Tuesday, July 9, 2013


You've been there; all seems well and suddenly you’re getting the silent treatment, and you don’t know why. One of the most confusing things for men in relationships is that men are people of action. They typically like to think their actions speak for themselves. But women are highly analytical, and rarely do we take what men do at face value. That’s why there are countless seemingly small things—that men think have no significance—that can set a woman off. Like these:

-A Dirty Dish:-
It’s just one dish. It’s a blip in the midst of your otherwise clean kitchen. But, she’s asked you twice now to clean it, and it’s still there. And now doors are slamming and you’re certainly not getting laid tonight.

-You don’t try to make her life easier:-
It’s not about that dish, or the trash that needs to be taken out, or the rug that needs to be vacuumed. It’s about the fact that women constantly go out of their way to think of little things to make their man’s life easier. It’s second nature to us to keep an eye out for things that would take a load off of our men and make them happy. The fact that that one dish has been sitting there for a whole week, says to us that you have to be reminded to do something that would make our lives easier, and that it’s not just second nature for you as it is for us.

-Criticizing where you are:-
You call her from a restaurant and she talks about how gross that restaurant is, you call from a sports game and she complains about all the noise in the background. No matter what you’re doing, she has a criticism about it. And she seems to be judging you for deciding to be at that place.

-It’s just because you’re not with her:-
Typically, when a woman begins criticizing any place you go without her, it’s because she feels you don’t take her out enough. If a woman feels she isn't treated to a good date night often enough, she begins to resent any place you go without her. Just a few thoughtful, planned out evenings a month with your woman could make her perfectly complacent about everywhere else you go.

-You give her advice:-
Your girlfriend comes home unhappy with the way a job interview went, or a presentation at work. You give her solid, thought-out advice that you know would help her next time. She proceeds to either argue with you about why your advice wouldn't work, or even worse point out a way that you failed in a similar manner.

-She wants to prove herself-:
No woman will admit this (and I might get a figurative slap on the wrist for saying it) but, when in a relationship, many women become insecure about their careers, often comparing them to the careers of their boyfriend. Perhaps its decades of fighting for women’s rights in the workplace deeply ingrained in us, but many women feel the need to prove to their partner that they are respectable professionals who know what they are doing, just as much as any man does. And when you advise a woman on something regarding her career, that little insecurity kicks in and she thinks you don’t find her competent.

-You drink too much:-
You’re not doing anything wrong. You haven’t gotten into a bar fight, or been kicked out of the club for being rowdy, or been arrested for indecent exposure. You’re perfectly harmless, but you’re drunk, and she doesn’t like it. She nags at you, disgusted by every word you say and every move you make while drunk. And you haven’t done a thing to offend or upset her.

-She wants to be included in your fun:-
The issue behind this is similar to the one behind a woman criticising every place you go without her; she feels left out. One of the times a person is having the most fun and completely letting loose is while drinking. If you often leave your girlfriend at home so you can have boys nights, or go away on guy’s weekends without inviting her, she’ll start to believe you take her for granted and you only want her there to comfort you throughout the challenging and often monotonous flow of “real life.” She’ll think you don’t find her enough fun to have along for the fun times. And seeing you completely relaxed and having fun—while drunk—will bring up all those insecurities.

-You can’t read her mind:-
This is a constant question on the minds of men: “Why does she think I should be able to read her mind?” Your girlfriend is mad at you for something, and then she is even more upset because you can’t guess what that something is. And you think it’s unreasonable that she expects you to be a mind reader.

Special thanks to Emmanuel Stanley Ofoha(Motivational Speaker)
Follow him on Twitter @pmanuelofoha
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